For Valentine’s Day, we thought we would share a few words about love. Our love in particular. The Dragon and Bunny variety. This week was so exciting for us because we had the most incredible opportunity to be interviewed by Natasha Hall on the Natasha Hall show on CJAD to talk about The Butterfly Trap.
It was interesting, because in the interview, when she introduced us she identified our love story as something that evolved into a children’s book. Which is actually pretty accurate.
We met in the classroom, we bonded over our love of education and passion for the creative process. Years later, we decided to collaborate on The Butterfly Trap and our very own butterfly-loving Luki was born!
Being in love with Kuki, being her wife and sharing a life together is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. For most of my life, I didn’t actually believe the lyrics of love songs. You know the ones, where lovers declared their undying gratitude and are transformed, healed and uplifted by the magical powers of romance. I literally thought that these words were as impossible and unrealistic as horned flying unicorns. I have been disappointed by love and had literally lost hope that lasting romance and loving kindness were possible. Until I became a Bunny and Kuki became a Dragon and all those words to all those sappy love songs became my living reality (flying unicorns, loving kindness and all).
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so I am giving myself licence to confess my love and devotion to the human that is so consistently loving, kind and dedicated to me.
But Being in a queer relationship has its challenges. For example, just today I was waiting for Kuki in a cafe in Ottawa when someone who worked at the restaurant asked if I needed anything else. I replied without thinking …”no thanks. I’m just waiting for my …. friend umm…I mean partner” gesturing toward the washroom. My friend?
Why would I even think that?
Why would I feel afraid or ashamed or even hesitant to say who I was waiting for?
My wife. She is my wife. In the eyes of the law, we are as legally married as any other couple. We were in Ottawa for Winter Pride for goodness sake! How much more affirming could that be? Yet I still had the knee jerk reaction to hide who I am and call her a friend because that is what most people assume. Or sister actually. We often hear, “you look so much alike… sisters?” And we have also been asked if we were mother - daughter but that’s another blog.
Anyway, the point is, it’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s full out scary and vulnerable. At times, we still feel that we have to hide who we are in order to avoid controversy which is I guess what happened to me today, without even thinking.
I am grateful for the slogan Love is Love but in real life, it’s really not. Queer love isn’t equal to hetero love in the eyes of our stubborn, hard-wired heteronormative perceptions. Thankfully, the movement is gaining more traction and queer families are getting more acceptance, and queer kids are feeling less weird and that is awesome!
Fun fact: Our book series will have LGBTQ representation with the hopes of further breaking down stigmas and stereotypes and normalizing the community.
Because Love IS Love and speaking for myself, this love is the best most complete and life affirming love I could have ever imagined.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all the lovers! Keep on loving and striving and showing up for what matters. We can do this!