Confessions of an Almost Published Author

Confessions of an Almost Published Author

What is the point of following your dreams?

So, by next week this time our Pop up shop will be behind us, we will have formally launched our book, The Butterfly Trap. We will have read it to you and sung for you, and introduced you to this new chapter in our lives which is a dream come true…. Right??

As we continue to wade through the final details of making this happen, the dreamy parts aren’t always all that clear. There are lots of preparations for our events and money to spend and sometimes I have stopped and wondered what the hell we are doing this for???

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And then I remember our main character, Luki ….

Her story, the message and the special ways that books capture our hearts and imaginations.

I remember my own dreams of being an author and doodling characters for story books since I was a small child. I was even labelled by my high school History teacher as “the artist” in the least affectionate way.

The truth is I doodled and drew a lot in school, and not just in Art class. Today, people often wonder how I have so much energy and get so much done; but I haven’t always been a high achiever. In fact, as a teenager I had major struggles with motivation, organization and keeping up. High school was a low point for me. I felt like a failure, not only did I not pursue my dreams but I could hardly make it to class. Most days I didn’t. It gets worse, I repeated grade 11 and dropped out of CEGEP.

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.
— Alice Walker

A lot has changed since I was so adrift. Thankfully a few years later I found the drive to return to school, completed certificates and degrees at CEGEP and university. But in the backdrop of my awareness even today is intimately knowing what failure and disconnect feels like. This is likely why I am so motivated.

  • I want to make a difference in peoples lives

  • I want to inspire positive and affirming beliefs

  • I want my art to have a meaningful impact in the world

Yes I am scared but I know that I am more than my worst fears.

In fact, as a creative, I am aware of the importance of failing as a part of the process. But that doesn’t quell the insecurities.

So, there you have it. Now you know…..

What is the point of following your dreams?

I don’t know, but something tells me there’s more value in trying, than not trying.  

So, that is what we are doing with The Butterfly Trap. We are putting ourselves fully out there and I don’t think we often regret trying stuff in life. It’s a lack of trying that leads us to regret.

Wouldn’t you agree?